So, Don't Tell Grandpa- why and what it is?
Well, I am a 46 year old wife and mum, who works full time in my dream job, studies history part-time, and oh, has just been diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. And yes, still a little afraid of annoying my 82 year old dad who thinks I should not tell everyone I have cancer, or tell anyone my business, but this is my way of coping with life and all that it throws at me, so....Don't Tell Grandpa! A little sad and pathetic but ultimately out of respect to him, don't tell him- easy!
So yes, just diagnosed with very early stage breast cancer in my left boob, and have been reassured it is very very treatable. I have my own"team" at the Breast Care Institute at Westmead Hospital, and my own breast care nurse, Mary, a lovely older Irish lady, to help me navigate the murky waters ahead. So far, so good. I survived a whole afternoon of multiple mammograms and ultrasounds and two biopsys. One of them required me to lie in this, quite frankly medieval, position but the doctors and nurses were very supportive!
Yes, dignify personified no? This was AFTER I had a (apparently) fine needle biopsy that required NEEDLES IN MY BOOB and then something that resembled a cross between a hole punch and an ear piercing needle pushed into your "Boobs of Steel" ( as the doctor called them) until they could grab some cells.
Men, I can practically hear you clutching your nether regions. chill. We women got this:)
So, what now? After I see my multi disciplinary team in a few weeks, probably a lumpectomy and some radiation. I'll post more when I know more I guess!
There have been some surprises. Besides those shown above. I have a sad but long history with Breast Cancer knocking me for six in my life - my beautiful adopted mumPam died from it when I was 19, my gorgeous birth mum Jude and her sister both survived it 7 years ago, and I have lost a dear cousin to it as well. Our part of the cemetery is too full of beautiful Lennon women and I will not be one of them. I worry about my girls and my sister and my nieces because this little diagnosis of mine puts them firmly in the high risk category of breast cancer, so genetic testing and counselling is also another journey I will have to take. This was, I thought,my greatest fear.
It turns out though, that my greatest fear will be you greatest challenge but also my greatest surprise. I am strong. I am brave. I am courageous. I will not back down. I will not huddle in a corner in the foetal position crying for my mum.
Instead, I have put my shoulders back and faced this head on. I havedaredit to beat me, because it won't. I havestrongroots, strong branches and soft leaves to cushion me if I need it. I feel like all the hardships in my life have led me to this point, and in doing so have given me strength I didn' t know I had. I keep checking to make sure I'm not in denial (let's face it, no one who knows me would ever have led me resilient!) but yep,I'm here and I'm OK.
The strength was in meal along, I just didn't see it until I really needed to. And for that, I will be forever grateful.
And I that note, check your boobs! Xxx
